April 26, 2013

Beemer Memories Pt. 2 ~ Realizations

1972 BMW R60/5 motorcycle chrome battery covers
photo by Styrous®
(click on image to see larger size)

I received a great email about my blog entry on the sale of my Beemer (see link #1 below). I said some things in it I wanted to put in something more than an email, so here it is.

Email from BJ:

"What wonderful and exhilarating experiences!!!!  I am so afraid of bikes and have never wanted to drive one, but your account of the sierra foothills ride without your helmet makes me want to want it!... although only for the 20 years younger bjo :)

It is bitter sweet to hear of this transition and I'm fighting what it represents Tooth and Nail!: the passing from youth to elder to beyond.

I Love you and I LOVE your sorted, crazy, guiltless, daring, rebellious and FANTASTIC life time journey!!!!!!!!!!

You're the best! and thanks for the blog"

My response to BJ:

What a terrific reply to my blog, BJ, I'm deeply touched. Thank you.

Yes, the "passing . . . to elder to beyond" part is a difficult task. It's VERY strange what's happening to me right now, it's been slowly building for over a year. I find myself in the curious process of the dismantling of my life. I will explain.

My whole life was involved in the process of accumulating things, stuff. Generally, I did not do it casually (my motorcycle, my record collection, etc.) but with care and thought. I now find I am beginning to disperse these accumulations with the same care. Kind of like a man who has attached a very long strip of cloth to his waist then slowly turns so the cloth wraps around his waist until he gets to the end of the cloth which by then, if he has done it properly, has become a beautiful, resplendent sash. It is complete, neat, perfect and radiant. Then he must gently, gracefully and with great thought turn in the opposite direction and unravel the cloth; but he must do it with care so the cloth may then be passed on to someone who will value and cherish it as he did.

I have come to the realization that this is a good thing. I have the luxury of doing it in my own fashion and time rather than letting someone else go through the dreary process of doing it after I've gone many years from now. (I sure hope it's many years from now.)   :-)

The sale of my bike was a fantastic experience for me. I had emotions I did not expect and did not have emotions I had expected. There was no sense of loss, grief or sadness when I watched Paul (the new owner) ride off on it. I felt nostalgic, to be sure, but that is not loss. Nostalgia is an honoring, respecting and savoring of a time, place or thing. Nostalgia makes me sad occasionally but mostly it brings to life a time of special importance in my life; I relive it. That's a good thing and it's important.

By the same token, I felt emotions I had anticipated in NO way what-so-ever!

I had received many email replies to my first ad on Craig's List. Almost all (but not all) were flaky in one way or another which I won't go into, it's not important. I had asked an amount for it with no expectation of getting it.

The ad expired so I re-listed it but lowered the price. Once again I got the flakes, etc,. but I ended up selling my Beemer to Paulie who would treat my Beemer with the care it deserved (to understand, see link #2 below).

Since the sale I have still been receiving inquiries about the bike and when I've told them it's been sold they have regretted the missed opportunity.

All this is to explain the unexpected feelings of lightness, relief, joy, happiness and gratitude that my beloved Beemer was going to the right person. The experience made me realize why I've taken so long to do anything about my record collection other than write about it in my blog (see link #3 below). I want the collection dispersed with care; it has to go to the right person, place or situation that will respect it for what it is. An entity bigger than the individual parts.

I want my beautiful sash unraveled with care.

Link #1: Beemer Memories Pt. 1 ~ The end and the Beginning

Link #2: Why I chose Paulie:
Beemer Memories Pt. 3 ~ Beginnings
Styrous® ~ April 26, 2013


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